I'm having thoughts.
These relieving yet abnormal thoughts that just creep back into my mind throughout the day.
They try and persuade me to just give up on my religion altogether.
And they're doing a pretty good job.
I think;
What would be the harm? Quite a few things would be better in my life-it's not like I growing or moving on in my walk with Christ. I wouldn't have to go to church or Tuesday nights. I wouldn't have to sing songs that are supposed to be from my heart, but feel like they're simply words.
I wouldn't have to feel like I'm praying to nothing-no one.
If I just let it all go for a while; just a break from time with God; If I didn't even think about-prayer, praise, communion, studying His word-what would happen?
And if I felt like something was missing, I could always return, right?
But then I know it would never be the same. And what about salvation? What about baptism? What about faith and strength and love?
It's just...
I don't think I can continue just muddling through life as it is now. I'm not going anywhere, and don't know if I can even return to the close relationship I've had in previous years.
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1 comment:
Oh good. I can comment.
1 corinthians 15:10
"But by the grace of God I am what I am..."
Meaning, it's not all about how much effort you put in. And a relationship is not one-sided, so the benefits/losses are not all yours.
I think... it's time you return to the basics.
Something along the lines of the opening verses of "Heart of Worship." And it's from that core that all the other things like prayer and church-going and song-singing stem.
And it's more of a "relationship" instead of a "religion."
This comment is getting to be very, very long - you see what happens when you keep me locked out of your blog for too long?:)
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