So sorry.

I think I described it as the stupidest thing I had ever done.
Out my mind.
Wasn't thinking.

I wasn't. And this concentrated self-absorption is really causing me to lack any consideration for others' feelings.

I've been able to experience the other end of that situation-not even as bad a situation as I was in. But still extremely terrifying.
And I'm dumbfounded. It hit me that night, but it hit me again-If something had happened, what would others have done? How would they perceive me from then on? How would their lives be affected?

There have to be better ways to get the message across.
Because it's actually very terrifying to have someone close to you in a dangerous situation, knowing that you can't exactly help if they ended up needing it.
And whichever end you're on, you'll be feeling pretty lousy afterwards.

Oblivious

It's pretty frequently now that I wish we could be more open with each other.

Not that everyone wants to complain to others all day about themselves. That's actually the opposite of what I think it could accomplish. When it isn't complaining, it's a way to be honest and unburdened; self-aware and helpful to others; overall, so much insight could be brought about by general honesty.
But it would take understanding and an open mind. And a lot of the time in our lives, there are so many other things going on that we aren't exactly concerned with much else then whats going on along the surface.

It would definitely help-and I'm not specifically speaking about me, or anyone else in particular.
If everyone could simply feel comfortable enough to speak their minds about struggles and real-life obstacles, wouldn't others in turn become become more aware and concerned and focused? And feel encouraged to think about how problems can be overcome, and reach peace; instead of continuing to flit around, oblivious to important things in life?

Do we even create that kind of open, comfortable environment in everyday life? And if not, Why?

I find that I enjoy being carefree; who doesn't? But to really be carefree, there shouldn't be anything weighing down on you. But, alas, we do not live in a wonderful carefree world.
Although a lot of the time we think we do-because our problems are shoved to the side while we trudge on each day, divulging ourselves in matters that could ease any pain, and instill that free feeling.
All that really brings about in my opinion, is a false outlook on how enjoyable life can be, especially when all of those worries you left behind will certainly catch up.

So in the end, it does take something more than ignoring stress. It even takes more than be open about our struggles.

Hmm.

I turned on the radio today. Set it at Cruz 97.5 or whatever.

I haven't listened to commercial-ed radio in a while. I heard a lot of great new songs that I would have already known had I daily woken up to it for weeks (I only really switched this morning to try and win West Beach Music tickets! (Jason Mraz!!)). But 3 minutes in, I remembered why I started listening to NPR more.
They delved into a segment called celebrity gossip something. Doesn't matter exactly what it was called, because that's pretty much what it was. Top story-Paris Hilton. And how apparently she announced publicly that she wants kids.
I chuckled. I had too.

I like 88.3 so much. Informative, easy-going, interesting, funny, trustworthy, interesting, concerned....and it's just a lot more interesting to hear about the world than whatever the spears/hiltons/richies/lohans are getting into nowadays.

I think it was even Ira Glass who proudly stated how boring the "famouses" really are.

What can be better,

than re-discovering something so close to your heart and absorbing as much of it as you can possibly take in and living with daily excitement because of it and wanting to share it with anyone because it's just that great??

Having more time to do it.