Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Tracy and Ricky were amazing people, and they were too modest. I couldn't convey to them how much gratitude and love and admiration I felt towards them. They reminded me of TJ sometimes, in how selfless they are. Ricky was always concerned with my well-being and made a point to learn my name quickly. He let me know a lot about Peru and Chile and answered all of my questions. Tracy too was always more than willing to talk and cook for us all while taking care of Isabella on top of it. Even when her brother was being a jerk; he could be rude and say abrupt things. He was priveleged to be there longer than we were, and Tracy was always respectful to him in return to his attitude. Talk about loving everyone and living a life of serving like Jesus.

Here I am, after coming home to loving people, in a typical CA setting. It was extremely difficult to come home from Mexico; that self loathing and hatred of Thousand Oaks enveloped me in guilt that began once I stepped into my room and looked around. I had similar feelings preparing to depart from Peru. That night when I stumbled into our bedroom, trying not to cry, I confessed to Andy and Lindsay how I could not return home. I knew I was headed straight for Palm Springs and couldn't face the superficiality of it all. I had felt so inspired to serve this summer after the closing conversation, and I knew going straight to La Quinta was the worst way to begin serving, and it was the easiest way to forget all that I had learned and fall into a selfish lifestyle again. It was distressing. They confirmed that a summer of serving could start whenever, even in La Quinta, as long as I tried at it. I resolved to keep mostly to myself in recollection and be sure to share what I had seen and experienced with my non-Christian family and friends.

Because I had talked it over with the leaders and let it out, I came to terms with leaving Peru a lot easier than it might have been. I still detested arriving in LAX, but Ricky and Tracy were constantly saying "see you next year!" That was promising, especially since I had been worrying about the church in Cuzco, and praying for it to expand, and for Ricky and Tracy's ministry. I do not want them to lose hope. They've accomplished such good things in the amount of time they've been there. So it was wonderful to hear an invitation back. It meant a lot to me knowing the couple would at least stay in Peru for another year or so. Just knowing that the church and the family is still there and will continue to grow, and that I could return whenever I could helped me come to terms with our depart after only 10 days.